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When You've Lost Your Self in Someone Else

Second Edition

Nancy L. Johnston (author)

ISBN: 9781949481341

Publication Date: Apr 2021

Format: Paperback

Presents an easy-to-follow method for changing the course of one's relationships. Anyone who has struggled with balancing his or her own needs and desires with those of the "other" person will benefit from these easy-to-implement suggestions. Its format combines psychoeducation, anecdotes, clinical case vignettes, and skills-building exercises.

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In this updated second edition, the author presents a sensible, easy-to-follow method for changing the course of one's relationships. Anyone who has struggled with balancing his or her own needs and desires with those of the "other" person will appreciate and benefit from the easy-to-implement suggestions. Its format combines psychoeducation, personal anecdotes, anonymous clinical case vignettes, and skills-building exercises.

Working with individuals and groups on this topic of loss of self in others, author Nancy L. Johnston identifies four areas of recovery work that can help an individual cultivate a healthy self: facing Illusions, detaching, setting healthy boundaries, and developing spirituality.

Emotional over-involvement in relationships can throw even otherwise well-functioning people out of balance - thoughts become focused on the other person in ways that are unhealthy for both the individual and the relationship - commonly leading to feelings of anxiety, agitation, helplessness, depression, anger, and resentment.

Johnson provides a detailed description of ways to turn this self-destructive cycle around with current best practices and research data, and includes self-assessments and experiential exercises designed to address essential aspects of self-awareness, distortions in thinking, communication style and tools, and spirituality. "Disentangling" is the process of creating enough emotional space between oneself and another person in order to better see the realities of any relationship and make healthier conscious decisions about it.


Too many of us have been raised in a manner that, due to not developing a strong sense of self, we lose ourselves seeking our value and worth, and even our identity, in relationship with others. Nancy Johnston does a beautiful job of helping the reader to both understand and be compassionate toward our self-defeating behaviors that reinforce this while offering a path toward building and claiming our self.
Claudia Black, PhD, author of Unspoken Legacy: Addressing the Impact of Trauma and Addiction within the Family

This new edition of Disentangle reflects Nancy Johnston's years as a practicing counselor and a student of human interactions. Her writing is clear, concise, and compassionate, making her insights and directives easy to follow.
Lisa Tracy, author of Objects of Our Affection

Nancy Johnston brings the voice of her recovering self to her book, Disentangle. Her book is rooted in evidence-based practices and practical skills, and she perfectly balances them with spirituality, self-disclosure, and client stories. This book has been a real asset to my recovery and the recovery of my clients.
Margaret Cress, LMFT
Pages 256
Dimensions 229 x 152
Date Published 30 Apr 2021
Publisher Central Recovery Press
Subject/s Family & health   Psychotherapy  
Nancy L. Johnston is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Licensed Substance Abuse Treatment Practitioner in private practice in Virginia. She has a B.S. in Psychology from the College of William and Mary and a M.S. in Counseling Psychology from Virginia Commonwealth University. With 32 years of clinical experience, she has developed this approach from both her professional and personal experiences. Nancy specializes in treating adolescents and adults. She works with a wide range of emotional and behavioral issues, and has always had a special interest in addiction and its effects on both individuals and family systems. Nancy lives with her husband and daughter in an old house on a river in the Valley of Virginia.

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